(Adapted from Facebook)
Its a road I had taken. That painful journey. Every second of that memory kills thousands and millions of cells in me. My skin crawls while my heart aches.
I tell myself to let it go. But either my heart or my brain stubbornly refuses to do so. I used to think, wat in the hell was wrong with me. Now I finally realised there is nothing wrong. Love has no rite or wrong. If the other party does not love me, nothing wrong, cos they dun need to love me. And they have the rite to reject. However if there is no rejection or acceptance, then wat am I? Someone who blindly waits?
On 1 hand, let it go. On the other hand, cannot bear to let go. Wat if I lose this special one forever? Will I ever learn to love again? Will I ever know love again? Will I ever survive this?
It hurts till now. It never stopped hurting. It will never stop hurting the day we are all alive. Absence only makes the heart grows fonder???? Or daily interaction makes it hard to let it go?
I still hurt. But I look at it that the special one is happy. The special one's happiness and laughter and warmth and survival and everything else is more important than anything else. I can give up anything so that the special one can continue with everything.
"If it even hurt you to think of me, I would rather you forget me so that you do not have to hurt, even though it is killing me"
"I would give up my everything so that you can have everything"
"Your happiness is most important to me and it doesn't matter if I am hurting"
A blessing in disguise that we are in such a situation now? Or is it going to be eternal hurt?
No. There will always be someone else. Even if you are not the one to follow me till the end of the world and till the end of my time, you will always be part of me, part of my life, part of wat I used to be and will always be in me. I will keep this special memory inside me, the only place that no one can steal it from me. This part of you will always belong to me.
I look at your face
I sit in a daze
Not knowing where to go
Emotions run low
I dunno wat to do
I am scared too
I am in a maze
In an airless case
I turn my back. And walk away. But deep down how much I wanted to run back. And how much effort and strength and everything I use to stop myself from doing so. I know any word from you and I will lose all my perserverence. And I am holding on to myself from going mad. Nearing the verge of madness.
With you, or without you. the sun still shines, the world still turns and time still ticks and doesn't stop. But my mind can be frozen there for you and my heart can stop beating for you at that moment. If you just open up, I guess disaster will happen. The disaster will be exploding inside me. So have mercy on me. Just tell me, whether it is wat I wanted to hear.
