Change of role

Remember that I resigned and was rejected (most embarrassing resignation la)?

My company is undergoing an internal restructuring. I have been offered a new role and I have sort of "accepted" it as my bosses have "assigned" me to this new role as they feel that my strengths lie in Service.

I will no longer do recruitment. Meaning, no more calling and talking to strangers, no more people flying your kite, no more late nites waiting for candidates, no more excitement when my candidate gets selected for a position, no more interviews with weird people, no more interview marathon, no more profiling resumes (dun speak too soon), no more PROJECTS (YEAH)

I will be focusing on service delivery. Yup, i'll be a service delivery consultant.

I will be fighting paperwork everyday. Perks are, I get to go home on time, I get to reach home before the sky runs out of light, I get to play more facebook and update my blog more often when I am back, I can slack at home, I can meet up with friends and have my social life back, I can do more housework (yeah, rite...), I can be a couch potato, I can spend more time with Junior and Terror, I can spend more time with Kenji, I can sleep early, I can rest more, I can have more free time.

The downs are..... I have no commission anymore. I have to scrimp and save on my poor meagre basic pay. I might have to sell tortilla away as I cannot afford to have him, I have to think twice when buying expensive things, I have to eat bread and butter and maggie mee, I have to plan my money in smart and wise way.

Actually, its not a bad thing rite? Cos anyway I still have to save rite. Hahahahaha.

And Commission is not the most important thing to me. The most important thing is I am happy with my job. And so far I am happy. :) And yes, paperwork can be lethal too, but I think it is still manageable I hope......

We'll see how things work out..... anyway Ah ber wun starve to death cos I am a jack in many trades. I wun go to the stage where I have to stand at Geylang. Hahahahahhaa..... the most I will be a fishergal..... hahahahahah..... or I shall be a bummer and have free food and lodging at bradel..... Hahahahaha. mummy will be the most happy person on earth I think......

Well, to look on the bright side, I no longer have to rush around like an ant or spider. I no longer have to stare at my phone for SMS from clients or candidates. I no longer have the stress on filling job orders....... I just have to beat time to do keying of the system and paperwork and talking to clients and candidates that are familiar to my company and helping to do service recovery all that. YEAH!!!!! Which is my forte!!!

Well, anywhere I go, 2009 is a good good good year for me!!!

So I am going to PROSPER and BLOOM and HUAT AH..... hahahahahahaah

Happy Valentines Day!!! 2009!!!

Today is Saturday and its Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentines to all my friends whether you are single or coupled or married or divorced. Actually everyday can be valentines if you choose to live it that way.

In fact this afternoon when I went out with Rina she mentioned that she dun feel the mood for valentines..... Hmmmm. I never seem to feel the special mood for valentines..... Last 2 years Yup, I do feel a twinge here and there in my heart.... the excitement of going out together where your boyfriend and you can spend special times together just on this day..... where you should feel pampered and loved and well taken care of.....

Today I still didnt feel the mood up till 2.45pm when Rina and me were discussing about Valentines day.

But I decided that since I dun feel the mood, I should create it for myself. Well you see, I am quite a stubborn and independent gal who takes things into my own hands to make people feel better.

hahha...

So I decided to cook a valentines dinner for kenji. Nothing special cos I do cook for him occassionally... but today I made him his favourites..... bacon, beef steak, ham, eggs, Mash potato, greens for the day, baked beans and I also baked him my 1st cake ever since moving into my house. hahahaha.....

And I actually felt the mood when I was preparing dinner!!!! Hahahahha.

That explains why the food tastes really nice!!

Dun talk too much.... let the pictures speak for themselves...... :)

Looks good rite! Ah ber can cook one ok!!!!!

Dino Terror

Some news to announce.....

Dino Terror just received her 1st ang bao for Niu Year......

She started menstrating on saturday.... Wat a big ang bao for her..... and Junior :).

Just imagine my challenges in bringing her out to bai nian!!!!

She officially turned 9mths today 26 January 2009......

Only 9mths leh.....must look up the web to see if this is normal or has junior been naughty lately...

Happy Niu Year 2009!!!!

Happy New Year to everyone here!!! Happy NIU Year!!!

I sooooo love Chinese New Year cos everyone will be smiling and be full of happiness and smiles and laughter and I feel LOVE everywhere, especially this year when I go bai nian with my hubby and my kids.....

Ox year is a good year for monkeys..... so must make use of this year to work hard and strive ahead!

If I didnt resign, maybe I will be planning a trip with my family to Macau or maybe go with Angie to BKK. :) If I resign, then maybe cannot cos cannot take leave yet rite? Hahaha....

Anyway, anywhere I go, as long as I am surrounded by people who love me and tots of the people I love, happiness will follow.

Take this festive season to be together with your loved ones and friends and let happiness follow you. Dun stress yourself, dun quarrel, dun fight for anything..... just relax and be yourself, be happy.... just take things easy....... give and take..... YEAH.... HUAT AH......

I do not mind working hard now because the results will be at the end of the road.
Even if there are no results, I will not regret cos I have not failed - I have tried my best.
Along the way I have learnt alot and these will follow me all the way till the end......
And I know that the people who love me, will never give up on me. :)
And to all of these people who love me - A Big Thank You to all of YOU......
Especially my family, my hubby, my best friend Rina - Love you lots!!!

HUAT AH

My promoter project ended yesterday nite at midnight SHARP. This morning I woke up with a smile on my face, even offered to go over to the market to get breakfast. :)

Yesterday morn i went for a class, then went to the market to get the freshest fish and meat and vegetables and spent my whole afternoon boiling chicken soup for evening's steamboat. Then I spent the whole afternoon preparing my food and cutting them into the right sizes.

Kenji helped me mop and sweep the whole house. :)

The late nights spent over cleaning the house paid off cos i was very happy and satisfied with my progress. :)

Yesterday evening's steamboat was a success. And today's steamboat was a success too!.

Yesterday my parents and family came over for steamboat. We had more than 20 dishes. :) Today Kenji's family came over and we all had steamboat too. :) Next sat having another round of steamboat with TFT. Great!!!!

On friday I tendered my resignation. I know I shocked my boss and I felt very guilty in wanting to resign. But I am really very tired. She refused to accept my resignation letter and pushed it back to me. She would like to change my role in the team and asked me to give her 2 weeks. I promised her I would wait 2 weeks for her to reveal her plans. My colleague said that I was very nice to my boss. Of cos as my boss is quite good to me. :)

So officially I am still with my company for another 2 weeks. :)

I am happy cos I finally can feel the CNY holiday mood. It is usually this kind of festive seasons that make your heart miss the people nearest to it, especially if they are so far away from you. Last week i dreamt of my grandma who passed away 7 years ago. I still miss her very much.

That's why today I prayed to ancestors as advised by master. I cooked them a sumptous dinner for them. I even bought "mama" chocolates and a big bag of stuff for her. I bought lots of money and lots of stuff for them. I boiled the steamboat soup in advance then used it to cook the 20 over dishes of steamboat stuff for them. I boiled rice then kenji helped me pack the stuff and put them into the trolley where we went downstairs to pray to them (kenji ancestors and my ancestors). They had soup, rice, 20 over dishes, green tea, "nian gao", "Huat kueh". :) So this ox year, I have lots of people helping me this year rite? :) So happy......

I am sooooooo looking forward to tomorrow cos I will dress up in new clothes and bring my kids out together with daddy kenji as a family and go and "Bai Nian" to my relatives and his relatives and importantly......I am Mrs Lim this year. :)

Seriously I am quite proud of myself for my house and my ability to actually prepare so much food and I think everyone is very much satisfied with the food. :)

I am also looking forward to next fri and sat...... cos the gambling kings and queens will come out and its is "HUAT" ah time...

HUAT AH HUAT AH HUAT AH!!!!!! HUAT AH!!!!!

Depressed Mood

Today I am on MC cos I am not feeling well.

But my phone never stop ringing and my eyes never left my lappy screen at all.

I am very tired.

Goodbye Job

I have decided to tender my resignation.

Because I look back. I have been working for the past 1 year at this same company. What did I achieve? Yes I learnt lots of things. I had satisfaction working here. I am happy about being able to work here. But I do not like the pressure, I do not like the stress, I do not like to give up my personal interests and time and health to this job.

For this past year I used to joke that I am married to this job. But I realise I am married to the wrong one. This job can divorce me anytime cos there are no feelings involved, no love, no ***, nothing. Whereas I'm neglecting so much of my life for this stupid thing named MONEY. I'm not earning alot. I'm just earning enough to make my life go past.

I have been working non-stop mon to sun for the past weeks and coming to the 2nd month already. No extra bonus, no OT pay, no increase in pay, no HUGE com due to this project, in fact whenever I claim my timeoff I feel so guilty.

I did not spend proper time with my kids, with my hubby (come on, I am newly married ok), i neglect the house and this is my 1st proper house and I am a house proud person so it really got to me that CNY is nearing and my house is in a mess.

I have been slogging, but for who? For the benefit of my company, but not to me, not to my family, not to my own benefit, but at my own expense, at my family and friends' expense.

Yes, jobs are hard to come by now. Yes, I may not get my current pay check. Yes, it could be the same out there. But if I dun take the 1st step outta here, I'm still gonna be stuck here in the same shit rite?

Haha. In fact this post is written to convince me that I should move on.

Hahahahahahaha.

I always pride myself on getting things done well. I thrive on praise. But this time round I really cannot tahan already. I am trying my best but I get shouted at. I am trying my best but I failed due to people's failure. I can try my best but if my best needs to depend on the people I use, then I cannot control anything at all!!!!!

I feel really frustrated.

My health, my relationships, my well-being, my life, my brain, my everything is at risk of breaking down. I cannot risk it anymore.

Goodbye job.

A story about Dino Terror

Did I tell you the story of Dino Terror? She is a fierce little creature who is black in colour and has a white diamond her chest. She swings her bum when she walks, pushes her bum in some male's face and scolds and shouts at anyone who walks her path, cos she is a typical B.I.T.C.H.

I cannot say she is a bimbo cos she is not blonde and she is not stupid. In fact she is very smart and VERY L.A.Z.Y.

When her dad is up to go to work, his pillow is like a warmed toilet bowl, nice and warm to her ass and she decided to pee on his pillow. When her mum is blocking her exit to get off the bed, she retaliate by shitting on her mum's pillow and peeing on her mum's pillow, twice in a roll!!!!

She behaves like a mad rabbit and kangaroo mixed together cos she bounces and hops like no body's business. She looks like a sneaky rat cos she is born in rat year and black like a rat, but she has the characteristics of a taurus, cos she is damn stubborn, just like her mummy.

I love her no matter wat, and I AM HER MUMMY. Yes, and I rolled on her shit on my pillow till it was flattened and I nearly wanted to kill her but she looked at me with her innocent, lovey dovey eyes and I cant bear to cook her in the curry pot. (anyway she got no meat on her)

This is the last weekend before CNY is here. Better go do your spring cleaning or marketing or shopping or your personal stuff before the next weekend.

Happy Ox year!!! 2009!!!! YEAH!!!

D-day today

I am a spider today. Today is the D-day or Dooms day cos I am having full deployment for my 40 outlets with 45 headcounts running TOGETHER. Besides that I have to watch my colleague's territory for her cos she has to go back to m'sia. Her territory under me is 24 outlets and 24 headcounts. I want to die. Please kill me please.

And then 1 of my receptionist project is down. So now I am doing receptionist duties and at the same time calling my people for my promoter project.

I am very frustrated and irritated because:

1) I love CNY but this year I totally no mood
2) I feel like a spider, going to be an octopus "many hands and legs"
3) I am at Novena now but I cannot go Dong Bar to drink beer cos its closed
4) I cannot sleep properly at night due to work and I am very tired
5) My house is in a mess and I am sooooooo tired everyday, too tired to pack anything.
6) I have no time for myself, my kids, my hubby, my house, EVERYTHING in fact.
7) I dun have time for spring cleaning, no time to do shopping, no time for marketing......
8) I feel lousy, I feel like a spider, I feel like exploding soon, I feel like killing myself....
9) I am having daily headaches
10) I am having my period NOW.
11) I am having PMS.
12) I am having cramps.
13) Terror is killing me by peeing and shitting on my pillows
14) I am killing myself with procrastination.

Ok. This is it. Must take action.

CNY 2009

Been working non-stop since December 2008. Non-stop for saturdays and sundays. Working Mondays to Sundays and repeating the same thing week after week. My working hours are 8.30am to 6pm weekdays but I never go back on the dot except last week cos I really had to go for class.

My record was last week when I finished work near midnight. Even saturdays and sundays I finish work by midnight when my promoters finish their work.

And PMS is near. I can feel the frustrations building up inside me.

CNY is near. And I have not done ANY CNY shopping, I didnt do any CNY cleaning yet and my bathtub hasn't been fixed yet which means another round of cleaning up after the dust and dirt after renovation.

Last week for 3 days my bathroom was under renovation. And the dust and dirt was unimaginable. I had no idea how to live in such conditions. I wanted to kill myself cos it was really so damn dirty and dusty and I was soooooooo irritated.

Well, finally cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom 2 days ago and felt better. But there are still soooooo many things to be done and so little time left for myself. I wan to die lor!

So tired....... I dun feel any mood for CNY 2009 at all cos I am so busy with work. Help...

Luckily later I going ikea with my best friend or else I will go mad soon....

Its always during the festive periods that makes someone miss you more?

Happy 2009

I know spiders are building nests here again.

Spent my christmas in Xiamen, China. Tot it would be a ulu samy place. But turned out to be quite happening.

Flew at 8.55am on christmas eve.

Seem to be always eating on the plane, at restaurants.

A total of 28 of us in the Xiamen airlines plane together with 25 bottles of Gordon Bleu. Really no kidding. 25 damn bottles of Gordon Bleu!!!

Dunno how many bottles they had over lunch and dinner for the 5 days, 4 nites there. But there was none left when we boarded the plane on the 28 December.

Christmas eve rocked.

Went to "Bin Lang" road where all the pubs and nitelife were. Counted down in 1 romantic pub where the bartenders rocked!! They actually played with fire inside the bar counter!!. There was also a santa claus going around passing lighted batons. And there was a chinese faggot dancing in front of me and it got me so pissed off that I would like to kick him squarely on his ass.

Had heineken there. Had some BBQ stuff tat took like 1.5hours to arrive. Overall it was fun cos they played chinese and english songs that I KNEW. hahahahah.

The next few days were sight-seeing, drinking, visiting places but not much time to shop.

On the 3rd nite, we have KTV. Something tat I liked (and I didnt know someone loved the song I sang). Drink drank and drunk ok...... red wine, gordon bleu, tsing tao beer (my fav). Managed to get a few of them drunk.

They have a custom there that they will toast to the people who finish singing and I hate holding the mike since then. They have sooooo many customs there that I simply hate drinking.

I named the hosts "madman". The especially crazy ones are the ones who drink non-stop and get people to drink as well. On the 1st nite itself Kenji's boss already got drunk and he even puked.

And kenji had been drinking non-stop since 24 to 28 dec. And today is 31st. He still went out drinking - that is why I am pissed off now.

Went to An Xi on the 4th day but An xi is worse than Xiamen cos there is nothing much to buy at all. Went shopping alone on the last day, but nothing to buy. The boots were quite cheap though.

Came back to sg with a flu. Took medicine and went to sleep, half way waking up and totally didnt know where I was. The flu med was really strong...... Couldn't get up for 2 mornings. Rina tot I got some SARS bug from china and she was bugging me to go to the hospital.

Luckily i am fine now, except I have diarhoea. Hahahaha. Rina's gonna nag at me again.

Yes, I am counting down at home. In fact I counted down while sitting on the toilet bowl. So Happy 2009 - I welcomed it with Shit!!!! Hahahahhaha....

I know 2009 is gonna be a better year - well I say the same things every year. Just let it be. Good or bad year, still have to survive wat. Cannot say bad year then I rather go back to 1999 rite? So just live it lor. Bo bian la.

I am in the "dun bother me" mood. PMS? maybe hor. Maybe just pissed off at certain things and certain people, especially TERROR. She has been barking non-stop whole nite and I am so pissed off that I am ready to cook her in the curry pot.

Today I pampered myself by doing my hair, doing facial so I feel a little better. Then it is down to face book and playing games. Well, I think I will definately feel better on the 1st day of 2009. Hahahahaha.

Been working non-stop since before christmas and after christmas. Feelin the strain and stress of this project. Been working late almost everyday, even today supposed to knock off at 1.30pm also went home about 7plus. No OT claim. No cab fare claim. Sian.

Bye unhappiness..... I gonna play games now!!!!

I am a little more stupid

Today I decided to pick up my courage and visit someone that I hate - THE DENTIST.

I hate the dentist cos everytime I go there, it will hurt me. Yet I HAD to go cos my tooth was aching. This is one kind of pain that I will never wan to look back at.

I decided to change another dentist cos the previous one who did the fillings didnt really last. Just about 1 year old the fillings dropped. But I am hesitant to go to this dentist cos the last round the whole drill fell apart in my mouth.

But I decided to go to the 2nd one cos it is quite established. Q&M seems to be everywhere. I booked 2 appointments - 1 for today and 1 for tomorrow cos I figured out with my teeth's condition, I dun think 1 day they can finish (speaking from experience)

I went in shivering not because of the cold. But the fear of sitting in the dentist chair and smelling the antiseptic smell and being surrounded by the metal instruments and tools that would somehow end up in my mouth....

The dentist asked how am I doing. I told her not very good (how can be good when I have to visit her). I told her my problem. I have to have a filling done on my rite bottom (molar) and 1 filling to be done on my left top (last tooth).

She looked at my teeth and told me some grim news. I had to have the left top wisdom tooth removed. I looked at her in shock. I asked if I needed to come back anoother day. She said she can take it out today, now, on the spot. I was like ???????

Ok lor. Please go ahead.

She sprayed some numbing, bitter liquid onto my gums but majority fell on my tongue and bottom set of teeth. Then that BIG FAT NEEDLE came in front of my eyes.

My already trembling hands and body shook even more. Then the needle went in 3 times. After tat, I rinsed my mouth but I felt my body go limp cos I was trembling too much.

Then they told me to take 2 panadols and 1 antiseptic tablet before I did anything else (on an empty stomach) so I just guai guai follow instructions.

Then she worked on my right bottom molar and filled it up without anesthetic (cool rite). So it took her 8mins to fill my bottom left molar.

The dentist was looking at me with a metal tool in her hand and she said not to be afraid - she just wanted to test if my tooth was numbed. Then suddenly the nurse grabbed my head. I was simply terrified. I nearly died cos I tot wat in the hell were they trying to do.

The dentist pushed and pushed and finally my wisdom tooth fell onto my tongue. The feeling was the same when the drill fell apart in my mouth. I asked to keep the tooth.

Then instructions were given to me not to rinse my mouth for the next 2 hours, not to eat hot food for the next 2 hours, not to bite on hard food till the next day, and I had to bite on the gauze hard for the next hour and change the dressing in 1 hours' time.

And I was given panadols and antiseptic tablets for the next couple of days and I only had 1 days' MC and I had to come back tomorrow cos I had more to be filled. The damage - S$145. CHEAP!

Then I nearly killed the taxi driver cos I was already mumbling as I had a gauze in my mouth and he was trying to make small talk and he asked me a question every 20 seconds like how to get to your place, which road you want to take, do you wan me to turn at tis junction, ave 8 or ave 9, IMH side or which side, how you wan to get to hougang plaza, is this rivervale, where to stop, this way also can wat, u sure u wan to u-turn, u sure turn left, u sure 2nd junction turn????...... I SNAPPED at him.

I told him, uncle, I already said HOUGANG PLAZA side. He kept quiet. Then finally when I reached my destination I told him sorry cos I just pulled my tooth tat's why I dun wan to talk. He said oh I didnt understand. USE YOUR BIRD BRAIN LA.

And now I can feel the anesthetic starting to wear off slowly and I really really really really really hope that the 2 panadols I took earlier on starts to kick in......

By the way, the dentist was really nice. She looks like an aunty to me but she really coaxed me like a little kid. Rina is rite - they should send the dentist for psychological courses cos 99% of the people who see them FEARS them. hahahahahaha.

I will be fine, except maybe a little more stupid cos I am missing 1 wisdom tooth = lesser wisdom. Hahahahahahaha.

Life is great!

Tomorrow will be the 1st day of December. Wow. So fast the year is coming to the last month and coming to an end.

Reflecting on wat I have done for the year. Hmmmm....

Pretty satisfied with my progress in terms of career, in terms of being a housewife, in terms of being a wife, in terms of being a mum, in terms of being myself. Of cos certain areas didnt do well, but on the whole, I felt that at least I have laughed, i have smiled and I have been happy before today.... So on the whole I am quite satisfied.

Of cos there is still room to improve some where. Like I could be a better wife, I could be a better housewife and maybe in terms of personal enhancement - wanted to go study more. I think there are so many places where I can still improve. But no one's perfect.

When i think of the tutorials, the lectures, the nite classes, the tests, the EXAMS.... well I am scared I cannot cope. But its ok if I cannot cope. Cos I dun need to have more certificates under my name to be ME.

I remember my 1st failure. I was in primary 3 when I failed my maths. I think I got 40+ only. My mum's reaction was like???!!!! My reaction was like - well, fail then fail lor. Wat's the big deal? Failing doesn't stop me from doing anything wat. I am still me. :)

Sometimes in life we do fail here and there. Sometimes things are not up to us. We have tried our best but still dun get wat we wan. Its ok. At least I tried. :) And I know that the next time I do the same thing again, I will do better cos I know more now. :)

The world still holds many wonderful things like living creatures, like people who love me and the people I love. Sometimes I get sooooooo stressed by work, by housework and stressed by myself (cos my standard high ma)....... I stop to breathe. I stop to look around me. I stop to remember the beautiful memories I had in my mind. And I can see hope, I can see Love, I can see happiness because I have people I love around me and there are people who love me around me!!!! I have friends, I have family, I have Junior and Terror and most importantly..... I HAVE MYSELF!!!!

It feels kinda cool to be able to entertain yourself. Like playing dota, like playing The SIMS, like playing mahjong, like playing Play station and shhhhhhhh sometimes I play with kenji's PSP too. Heehee.

And of cos caring for others makes me feel good too. When my best friend is happy I am happy too. When my godsons are happy, I am happy too. When my family is happy, I am happy too!!!!!

Everyday I will enjoy myself, because life itself is a journey that needs to be appreciated. All the sweet, sour, bitter and pain are part of the journey itself. If we dun taste the bitter, how would we know the sweet? If we compare, I take something bland I cannot taste the sweetness. If I take something bitter, than take the sweet immediately I can taste the sweetness and forget the bitter rite?

When I feel down (of cos everyone feels down in life sometimes), I will look into the mirror and tell myself that I am great!!! Cos i cannot give up on myself. i have to take care of myself, or else how to take care of others rite? I LOVE MYSELF!!! And of cos I love others too!!!!! *Muacks*

I had a fall in life recently. I was so stressed bout work that my shoulders were soooo tight. I cringed everytime I had to go to work. I didnt want to go back to office to face my boss cos I am so scared she will scream and scold me. That sickening feeling of fear, of feeling down literally stayed inside me for quite a while.

But when i faced it, it didnt look so scary lor. When I faced it, I told myself that its ok. Even if I failed, at least I tried and no one will blame me. Even if someone blame me, just let them say whatever they wan. I dun care! Cos I tried my best!!!! Doesn't mean I fail, I have lost. In fact, I have won cos I am able to look at failure in its face. So now everyday I tell myself to look at it in the face. How bad can it get? The most fail only. Wun affect anything else. Everyone still loves me! :)

So tomorrow even though I need to report to work at 7.30am and work till maybe 9pm..... its ok.... But I need to be a better wife though.... the current wife always come home after 9pm due to work..... need to improve my productivity and come home earlier to accompany Mr Lim hor? Hahahaha. :) Love you all!!!!

Yesterday once more

I am stressed. I need 300 headcounts for promoters. Yesterday I conducted 40 interviews. Today I conducted 30 interviews. I didnt have time to breathe, I didnt have time to think, I didnt have time at all.

And till now 1.30am, my brain cells are still working. Was it the coffee? Was it cos my brain was working too hard in the day?

And it is in the dark of the night, the quiet wee hours of the morning..... when I let myself relax and fall back into my memories.

Lots of time people say dun look back, dun think of the past, move on. How easy to say so. But how many people actually are able to do so? Parts and bits linger around and pounce on you when you least expect it. :)

The key to it is to really look thru it. Yes I agree that certain friendships, certain people in my life have left footprints in my life. And I do walk down memory lane hoping to immerse myself in the familiar feelings, the familiar scenes, the familiar smile, the familiar laughter, just the familiarity I missed so much.

And yes, I do not allow myself to linger. Because it was the past. And isn't it good enough that the memories are there? People say they regret not having able to continue further memories with this person they love. But I believe, the past memories were good, and the future memories may not be better. I believe, if someone is happy, let them go. Even if it hurts you, you are the only one hurting. At least they are happy. Isn't that good enough?

I am that kind of person where I can create laughter and act like a clown just to make people laugh. But I can also be the shoulder to cry on. MOst of the time I get too involved. But I am growing up and my brain is also more or less matured already (a nice way to put it as OLD). Therefore I think I am becoming like some oldies where they cannot be bothered. :)

I used to think life is good and God is kind and everything's under control. That was when I had everything I tot I had. Now the present me, thinks that life is great!! And God is really kind and NOT everything is under control. :)

Last week saturday Rina was in hospital. I hate hospitals but I hate the tot of being alone in a hospital more. Luckily she is fine now. I had a tot of wat if something happened to her. Wat will I do without her. Made me realise she is really very important in my life.

It is not easy to have someone who cares for you and loves you for who you are. Therefore I treasure all the sincere people around me who cares and loves me. It really makes my day when I have someone i can talk to at the end of the day or anytime of the day when i have problems.

:) I love you bug head Queen Mimi Cow mummy. From your bug no.7 Queen Lala Monkey Bull.

Seriously I am stressed. I can feel the strain of it on my shoulders and back. My shoulders are so tight. I need a massage. And the place I tot of was JB - the massage palour opposite Taman Gardens. I haven't tried that so I dunno if it is good but I shall ask my partner tmr cos she went JB today.

I am soooooo looking forward to the long weekend coming soon. I know I am not going anywhere far but I am planning...... :) I am going to get a new wardrobe of clothes by end of the year!!!

But 1st, I need a dentist cos my tooth is killing me.......

Bored post

Ah ha.... this time the PMS mood didnt last long. But the irritating feeling is here COS everytime I want to do my laundry and sun them, the sun disappears and the black rain clouds come. So frustrating. I have been trying to do my laundry for the whole week and to no avail.

Well. I think its time to get a washing machine with an in-built dryer. The hot dryer one... yeah!

Counting down my days to december!!!

Master

Lost in time again. Pondering on certain things in my life. Walking down memory lane.

I used to think that some people put a curse on me. Last sat I went to see a master cos my work was really really not smooth. Smallest issues escalated into BIG issues. Clients with no issues became MAJOR issues.

So went to consult this master. There was no curse, except 2 things that were following me. An old woman and a little boy. Maybe I picked them up at tat big green field with a big tree and a swing.

And I sat on that swing. And I even took photos on that swing.

But in a matter of 15 mins, they went away after the ritual - a ritual that cost a bomb and left me with only $36.82 in my bank account. Hahahhaaha........but of cos I still had cash on me la.

I dun know the old woman cos the description does not sound like my late grandma whom I loved alot. But I think I know the little boy. The little boy that was supposed to be so close to me. Well it happened years back and I dun wan to talk about it.

Anyway, bye to the both of them. Ber is in PMS mood cos "you know who" is here. I'm having backaches and cramps and that sickening, irritating, frustrating feeling inside me. Wish I can kill terror cos she is eating up EVERYTHING.....

Crap

Went to Pulau Ubin on sunday with my aunt and her friends and the 2 weasels. Aunt was quite surprised that I brought Terror along cos she asked me not to bring her, just bring Junior. How can? Terror is also my kid you know.

Was really tired when I came back. Felt slight twinge of PMS cos "you know who" was due. Had cramps on sunday nite even though "you know who" was not here yet. Was on MC on Monday. Guess when you work really hard for long periods you will get sick easily.

Woke up feeling so deprived of sleep that I didnt want to wake up at all. Then certain things just work their way thru phone calls and sms and I was on MC :) God doesn't make decisions for you. He lets you choose. :)

Tuesday went back to work till Wednesday where I still have 1 big pile of work on my table still unsolved and unsettled and complains are coming in and there are things I cannot make decisions on and HOW? TELL ME HOW?

Certain things pondering in my mind. Fed up with certain things. Like "Do people have the right to take others for granted when people have the right not to be taken granted for".

Crap. This is 1 word tat summarizes everything. Haha.

Speaking the same language

This blog post is dedicated to certain people around me who have been taking me for granted, ignoring my feelings when they lie, ignoring my feelings when they start to show their temper by banging and throwing things, scolding me, saying and doing stupid things without any consideration to my feelings. Seriously I feel I'm so taken for granted.

I do things with good intentions but I get accused of many things. And I get shouted at, I get banging of things, I get throwing of things, I get fingers pointing at me, I get criticized, I get the blame, Everyone is rite except me.

I dun understand why people raise their voices, throw things, bang things, behave like a crazy person, do and say stupid things, lie, think everyone owe them something, think they are rite, assume and accuse.

And yes of cos I get pissed off and if the intention was to piss me off, you have succeeded and you have also succeeded in making me like you LESS. And I am very adaptable. I will learn to speak the same language and in future we can communicate better by banging and throwing things to show our temper, do and say stupid things, we can lie and take each other for granted. Well. that will be the perfect way to speak the same language rite?

Whatever people can do, I can also do them and I can do even more. So dun force me. My taurus horns have been forced out over the past few days and I am certainly capable of many things.

I realised I have invested so much of my time for my kids, for their dad, for the house and I dun have time for myself. This will change. Cos I will change my priorities and I will not hesitate to have time for myself and I will not give a damn to people who are not worth my attention. These people think they have the rite to do and say things they like, well this is going to change cos I am going to be very straight forward and be very diplomatic and set up my boundaries very carefully. any invasion within my boundaries, I will not hesitate to take action against the invader.

And a note to the people who have stepped on my monkey tail. If there are things I have done wrong, I will reflect on it myself. But certain attitudes, certain words, certain behaviour from people who behave unreasonably, or behave in stupid ways I cannot accept and will not hesitate to remove them from my life.

And if you are still so stubborn thinking you are rite, then you can leave my life if I am not important to you. But there are certain things that are definately unacceptable. Of cos I will not hesitate to leave if unreasonable or unacceptable expectations are required of me, like my job and leaving people around me who dun know how to appreciate me. So if you still treasure me you better know wat to do - either you stay away totally and disappear or you decide on wat you need to do.

BBQ with Junior & Terror

Yesterday brought Terror and Junior to Seletaris condo where my colleague invited us to gather for a BBQ. Almost wanted to BBQ both of them cos they were making lots of noise. But they were sort of centre of attention cos they were bigger that rats but smaller than cats.

There was another dog which belonged to my boss - Tammy. He was really good boy. He didnt bark, he didnt pee anywhere else except grass, he just sat there and wag his tail when people sayang him. And he was very handsome with his long fine fur and smile. He is a shihtzu. Junior got very jealous of Tammy when i carried him and whenever Tammy comes near and gets attention from other people, Junior will bark at Tammy.

I think inside Junior's dictionary doesnt have this word "Fear" and "scared". Cos he dunno how to be scared and he dunno how to fear. He kept barking at the big dogs walking by and he influenced terror to bark and growl at them too.

The kids shared my hotdogs and chicken wings and we went at 7pm and came back almost 11plus. Very tired all of us.... Junior even had a nightmare that he kept making noises in the morning.

Later we going out again Wat shall we do today??? :)

Wee hours KTV

Yesterday night went karaoke alone from 2am to 6am at Partyworld. Yeah... alone. The feeling is great cos you get to have the whole bloody room to yourself and you can scream and shout and go off-key and dun need to bother about people minding or not. Went for Karaoke marathon, started the KTV by scrolling from A to Z on the female singers. But 4 hours not enough cos I havent even finished the female singers songs yet, so randomly selected the best hits for the guys.

Wanted to do a Sammi marathon - 20 songs. But by the time I reached there my throat was sore. So sang the normal songs. Think the golden hits were the best cos they were classic oldies....

Had 2 drinks to myself, the whole room to myself, the whole tv to myself, the whole environment to myself, the whole remote to myself, the whole MIC to myself!!!!! YEAH.

Then after KTV went to bradel cos needed to attend Damon's graduation this morning. Damon was really cool cos he can dance!!! Heehee....

Will upload the pics later cos I wan to go sleep now. Good nite. Lucky thing my classes cancelled due to the rain....