Ah Ber is strong

Today I almost cried at work. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I was trying hard to control them. Used tissue a few times to dab my eyes silently luckily it was after office hours and not many people were in the office.

Today I started my day with a heavy heart cos yesterday my boss told me she's taking away one of my projects, in fact the 1st project I worked on when I joined the team. She's giving it to another new colleague. Actually I dun mind this but just within a day, my baby was gone. The things I have built up, the relationships I had with my candidates, everything I hands on with this project, was gone.

And the cruel truth was I had to train my new colleague and go thru with her everything I had learnt from scratch, everything I knew and transfer it to her. I know the supervisor there must be smiling cos she doesn't like me cos I am not obedient and I always fight for my staff's rights and that pisses her off.

I had to rush down to be a receptionist as I had 2 gals down. The supervisor was not very happy about me unable to get a replacement - she was just not happy about me la. Well. So my boss ask me to go down to be receptionist which I will obey. I just sat there feeling rotten cos if I had a choice I wouldn't wan to be there sitting next to the supervisor, next to someone who dun like me.

So I became a receptionist for a while. Then my boss brought my colleague down to undergo training there. I gladly showed her the ropes and reminded her on things that I experienced. With my sincere heart! Cos the 1 hour I spent there as a receptionist made me think clearly. If my team flourish, I will flourish too. I shouldn't take it to heart about such things, even though it is going to affect my gross profit and my commission. I know I have not trained myself to be so selfish yet.

I also had another revelation. I am going to further my studies next year and come back in a higher position and STEP on that bloody black bitch who is the supervisor. I cannot stand her as she is a fake, pretensious, sneaky, cunning, authoritative, BLOODY BITCH. She poach my gals whom I placed there as receptionist and ask them not to go thru me and offer them higher salary if they work for her as receptionist. Wat kind of christian is this? Luckily my relationship with my gals are quite ok. She also questioned someone about sending Halloween biscuits and say that christians should not celebrate halloween BUT SHE WILL EAT THE BISCUITS anyway. Bloody bitch.

Anyway I didnt almost cry over this issue.

My boss wanted me to take on another portfolio. No guidance, no coaching, just ask me jump into it like tat. Well Well Well. Then when I make mistakes she was very fierce to me.

But I take it as she was teaching me la. But I am not happy about the way she teach me. Why cannot teach or tell me nicely must be so fierce? I dun like fierce people cos I think they bully. She can even ask me if I "fu qi bu fu qi" (contented or not) about her scolding me. Well Well Well wat can I say?

And now that I have taken another portfolio (got choice meh?) I am going to get busier and I think my baby plans have to shift to next year or else I will risk a miscarriage like some of them do here.

After everything, she was nice to me again talking about holidays, trips and casual things. I know she dun really mean to be fierce, maybe she jus wan to see me cry or see me intimidated or scared. Of cos I will be scared la. But I wun give up so easily. I am Ah Ber. And Ah Ber is strong. I know I can do better and I know things will only improve. But I need to go to the temple QUICK cos things are getting really bad cos the whole team also not doing very well.

Well Well Well. Too bad la. Tomorrow is another day and I jus count my days and live them to the fullest.

I know kenji was very worried when he called and realised that 9plus I was still in the office. In fact when I stepped into the house almost 11pm he asked if I was ok cos I think my face must be really BLACK. Hahahahaha. I'm ok darling..... Luv you.