Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Rants

1stly..........Happy belated birthday to Winnie!!

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to Winnie..
Happy Birthday to you!

Sorry I remembered your birthday on the 12th, but I was really busy so..... I hope its not too late.

2ndly, I am really busy at work, trying to do my 1st placement. I really have no time for other things especially gossip in the office - there are some people who are already so experienced that they have time to bother about other stuff in the office other than work.

I seriously envy them cos I dun seem to have enough time, I stay back almost everyday, trying to finish my work and yet I still cannot finish my work almost everyday.

And sometimes i wonder who really can understand and appreciate me. Cos I feel I am taken for granted for soooooooo many times. I am expected to be understanding yet I am not understood. I am expected to appreciate but am not appreciated. And people have the rite to get angry when I am stating the facts, while i cannot get angry because......... of wat?

There's no one to share with me the feelings, the burdens, the challenges, the joys....etc etc etc.

So bloody hell I have to take in all the shit and everything and maybe challenge myself to see when and how big the explosion will be. Or I could jus call it quits before the end of next month. Maybe its just like tat and people will always be like that, jus like man will always behave like man.

Where is the "we will work together", "we are in this together" - where's the partnership? Where's the assurance that I am not alone?

This is not the ideal life that I wanted and I am freaking unhappy. Why do I have to put up with nonsense. I also dunno.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Work work work work

My project at chai chee is confirmed to be ending really soon, earlier than I expected. The contract was supposed to be till October, but this month chai chee side trying to wrap up the project.

Good for me cos I dun need to come to this alien land. Bad for me cos I have to start a new job scope altogether. And suddenly they jus announced that we have more targets to meet. Shit.

I get very stressed when they talk about targets. Not that I cannot hit targets, but its something that bothers me and its something that hovers above me and restricting me. And there are so many things to do. Now I secretly wished that I could stay in chai chee. But I dun like the HR people here so actually I am stuck again.

Bo bian lor. Got to try my best lor. I give myself 3mths. If really cannot, then I gotta look for something else la. At least now I have more skills to my name which I can be proud of. I can do payroll, I can do HR, I can do recruitment (yet to be proved). So I dun think I will die of hunger.

Seriously I am really quite satisfied with my basic liao, but this is my tot now cos I have not tasted the sweetness of getting the commission. Hahaha. Its very similiar like rental. I jus need to find and match and maintain the clients and candidates.

I hope that my clients and candidates will be good to me. Only then can I really feel I fit into this industry. I am cutting some of my classes again so that I can concentrate on my new job scope. I wan to try my best!!!! I know I can do it if I wan!!!!

Yesterday I stayed in office till 9plus, not cos of overloaded of work, but cos I was very stressed as they announced the new targets yesterday. I was trying to go thru the SOPs to determine the best way I can reach my target. Had discussions with my boss and my colleague and they all seem to be so confident that it could be done lor. Die la. Really die la. If I cannot hit my target, maybe soon I will be kicked out also lor.

Sian....

Monday, April 7, 2008

I had a jab on my BUM

This morn I went to see the doctor. No, its not keng-ing MC. And its not because of mahjong yesterday. Heehee. My foot didn't feel like my own this morn. When I got up from bed, I couldn't stand at all.

I tot maybe it was cold and my foot needed some massage to warm it. So I dragged myself to bathe and used the warm shower to warm it abit. It improved a bit, so i brought junior downstairs for his morn walk.

Then I felt my foot throbbing like the tendon was going to burst. I quickly lifted my foot up to alevate it. The throbbing stopped.

Whenever I put my foot down and when the bood started flowing down to it, my whole heel would throb with pain. And its not that kind of numb throbbing. Every throb is like someone stabbing my back of the foot with knives. Its worse than the after-numb, pins poking effect when your leg is lack of blood flow to it. It felt like knives poking me into the back of the foot.

So since I was stuck in the stupid morn traffic jam on the CTE, I detoured to my family doctor. And yes, I was driving cos I didn't think I would survive to the MRT station. My foot felt better with me sitting down and pushing the accelerator rather than standing and putting my whole body weight on my poor foot (coming to be both feet already).

Talking about my family doctor. He's actually a very nice doctor. But ever since I was using the green company medical card from my company and I only pay $5 co-payment, I could sense the difference.

Today I jus had to ask him why the difference cos he opened the door for the 5 people in front of me and when it was my turn, I had to open the door and hop my way in. And there was this gal in the queue 2 heads behind me and she was on company's card too and she had to open the door herself too. The one directly behind me is private consultation and the doctor opened the door for her!!!

The way he attended to me was not different, but the information he gave me was so much lesser than the previous times when I was on private consultation. So I JUST HAD TO ASK HIM out of curiousity.

He told me he can only prescribe the medicines on the insurer's list and the other more expensive medicine he cannot claim. And he will only be able to claim lesser than certain amounts and there were some admin and other fees to be deducted from his claim AND THE CLAIMS only come back to him in 4-5mths!!!! That is why the treatment is sooooooo different lor.

I told him, if there are any medicines that can make me better, I dun mind buying it under private consultation. I guess he must have known that my condition was quite serious cos its not the 1st time he's treating me for this condition. So he gave me a jab when I asked if there's anything else he could do to help me.

He jabbed me on my BUM. The liquid in the stringe measured 3.5cm on the indicator and the needle was soooooo long and it stung abit when he pushed all the liquid inside me but It didnt hurt as much as me standing on my foot.

I seriously suspected that wat he gave me was a mild sedative and muscle relaxant and pain-killer all into 1 jab. Because now I feel like I am very relaxed and mildly sedated and the pain is gone and I AM SLEEPY and my whole body's muscles are somehow starting a strike cos they feel heavy.

It's starting to feel like a chore to finish my typing of this post. I wonder how long will it be before this effect wear off cos I still need to drive tortilla home. Damn doctor didnt tell me about the effects!!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Now they took away my phone

On monday they took back my room.

On friday (which happens to be today), they took away my desk phone.

They jus simply told me that later they will get the IT guy to take my desk phone away as they have new staff coming in on Monday and they require my desk phone cos they have a shortage. And they mentioned that anyway I will be in on Fridays only so contacting via email and my HP is not an issue.

Well. I really dunno wat to say except Ok lor.

And yesterday I was still telling my dearest good colleagues that I am returning to the "dark" side. And I told them that maybe I wun have my chair...... ahahahahaha. Glad that my desk and chair are still intact and dunno when they are going to take more things away from me. Hahahahaha. Luckily my lappy is provided by my own company or else I really have nothing. Hahahahahaah.

I dun feel sad this round, I dun feel upset or angry or humiliated.

I jus find them amusing. Hahahahaha. Its one of those things that make my day cos it tickled me. Heehee.

And everyone thinks I have nothing to do. I have taken on new roles ok. And I am busy..... of cos I need a break then I sit down and work on my blog a bit la. Am I not entitled for a break? You can ask the people who MSN with me, I dun reply very fast sometimes cos I am busy leh.

And people here also amuse me lor. They laugh at me indirectly telling me that now I am not so alone/lonely cos now I move outside, no more room. I reply them YEAH. Now so many people around me really not so lonely lor. They kena stunned lor, as if they expect me to be affected lor.

Aiya, affected a while lor, then will bounce back one wat. You think ah ber forever depressed one meh? Anyway last week also I PMS cos its that time of the month ma..... of cos a bit mood swing la. Now finish already still PMS then very serious liao lor...... luckily I am not PMS queen lor. I am Monkey Bull Queen Lala..... haahahahaha. I am very stubborn one. So stubborn that my horns are sticking out liao.

Here not all the people are bad la. Some of them quite good and nice, especially the philipinos. They (especially that guy) always offer me things to eat, things to drink, sweets, crackers, fruits, chocolate, cakes..... heehee.....

Ah ber's mood is strangely good today.... hmmmm. Must be the M&Ms I had for breakfast. Hahahahahaha.....

My birthday

So fast its April. Next month May is so filled with events that I am overwhelmed.

And this year I have decided that I shall spend my birthday overseas. Initially I wanted to go to Holland to see the beautiful tulips with my family. Then I decided not to, cos they were going to go for 3 weeks and I dun have so many leave to go with them and by the time i'm back, its going to be 1 week left to my wedding.

So I decided to go to my favourite places, maybe Genting, maybe BKK, maybe KL, maybe bintan, maybe Batam. Maybe I shall jus book a room at Rasa Sentosa and spend my birthday in relaxation.

Or maybe i should jus spend my birthday doing the things I love most, maybe KTV, maybe lazing on the beach, maybe fishing, maybe a massage, maybe shopping, maybe EATING. hahaahahahah.

I know definately the people I love most will be celebrating my birthday with me. Heehee.

My birthday falls on SUNDAY!!!! And its mother's day. How I wish junior will call me mummy. I have 1 day birthday leave which can be taken on fri or mon so that I can have a long weekend. YEAH. So who is going with me and WHERE?????????

If no plans then I shall bring junior to sentosa. Heehee. Then we can spend mother's day and my birthday together......

Please lend me your support

My stint at Chai Chee will soon end and I am now back to my HQ 90% of the time. And I am now officially doing recruitment.

Therefore, anyone who requires a job, please contact me. I have jobs in various industries ranging from IT, to Customer Service, to Admin, to engineering, to technical, to recruitment consultants, to almost everything except deep sea divers, and some other niche positions (which will be handled by my professional branch), whether is it Temp, Contact or Perm.

I am doing more on.......... you guess? Hahahahaha.

I'm doing more on Customer Service positions. Heehee. Fits me to the bill cos my customer service is NOT BAD rite..... I am customer oriented, I provide good service, I am AH BER. YEAH.

Similarily, if you know of anyone or company who requires recruitment services, please do not hesitate to contact me or forward me their email and contact and I will try to fight the best price for you for our services, whether in Temp, Contract or Perm. Please quote your name if you refer someone to me and I make sure you will get a treat from me if I successfully serviced the people you referred (Bribery hahahahaahah - no la, if no reference I also will treat my good friends one rite......hahahaahahah)

Being a global MNC, we have more than 5000 offices in 78 countries now and we are still expanding. We have serviced many major global, regional & national clients in various industries world wide, region wide and nation wide. And 100% of Fortune 100 companies work with us. We screen our candidates very carefully to ensure the best are recommended for our valued clients.

Therefore, please give me your guidance and support for my career as a recruitment consultant. I will try my best for you regardless whether you are a candidate looking for a job or whether you have immediate recruitment needs.

Want to know more? Leave me an email.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I am humiliated.....

Yesterday they dropped the bomb on me that I need to move out from my cosy, comfortable room with effect from today, 1st april 2008. And it was the HRM who walked into my room and spoke to me nicely at around 4pm. So I guess she was not cracking an early April Fools joke.

Luckily I had already half-packed the last round they dismantled my table. So I re-packed and this time I was doing it with a vengence, meaning I was really working hard at it. By 6pm, everything was packed. I am going to bring back most of my stuff to HQ cos its useless to keep so much stationery and stuff here cos I wun be here so often now and I am only left with a cubicle and a table, just like everyone else around me.

This morn I was assigned to a table outside and I am sitting together with all the other ground staff. I have a phone tat is unworkable but at least i still have my mobiles and lappy and I still have my dignity. So I should be happy that at least I still have a damn table and even a cubicle that is about 1/5 of my storeroom at home.

There are some curious stares at me when I moved out my pedestal and stuff. I must have looked like I was being chased out of my big, comfy room. Or in the movies, there should be security guards escorting me while I moved my stuff - hahahah I watched too much movies. But I jus calmly moved my stuff (on my pedestal) and sat down and re-arranged my stuff and got up to get a coffee and sat down to attend to my emails and work stuff.

Even till now people still stare at me when they walk pass. I give them 1 week to stare. When the week is up I will stare back at them. I shall be nice for this 1 week only.

Definately I feel humiliated and insulted that I am a HR advisor and they are treating me like I am like the other staff here. Ok. Never mind. My days here will jus get lesser and I need to re-focus to do other more important stuff than to sit here and pout and get angry and get upset.

Yesterday I had already prepped myself by telling myself thousands of times that I still have my integrity and dignity with me and that I was not "demoted" by any fault of mine. I am trying my best to be nonchalant and happy go lucky and Chin Chye and Bo chup and act cool. And I am sure the tons of M&Ms I popped into my mouth yesterday helped lots.

My boss is definately concerned about me and my wellbeing, but luckily I am Ah ber. If it were any other of the gals I think they will jus flip over and leave. I guess I am still quite strong and surviving. Dunno if it's because my skin is thicker? or issit too thin that I dun feel any skin anymore?

Never mind. Today I shall jus pretend I am one of the ground staff and learn from them. They look very hardworking and very busy. I need to bring my smartness out soon and work smart.

And I jus realised that my back is facing one of the bitches' room. Haha. She must be tasked to watch wat I am doing but all she'll ever see, will be my BUTT.

Seriously, my confidence has taken a hit cos I feel affected by this HRM's decision. But I also accept it cos I have no choice and also cos the guy who took over my room deserves my room cos he is the Deputy Manager on the floor. Wat am I? I am only the lowly piece of shit here. I was not treated like part of their own staff from the start and I of cos wun expect them to ever treat me like I was part of their family. Frankly I dun give a damn about it. Being part of their family is not wat I wan cos it sucks...

Ok, I take back wat I jus said cos there's this very nice ground staff who jus offered me a piece of fruit cake. But I declined cos I cannot take fruit cake, although I love it very much, i dun wish to break out in rashes after eating the fruit cake. He's a very nice philippino and he also helped me once when I had to push the big box of records to and from the storeroom.

This little piece of humanity warmed me up abit but still cant shake the feeling of being demoted, humiliated, insulted off me...... Why I cannot be arranged to have a desk inside their rooms or any of the rooms here? I am management / executive level you know!!!!!! Correct or not? Frustrated or not you tell me??????

Their own people here are moving into their own rooms and having their own place to call their own. But I am here with a table, a cubicle amongst everyone else. Throw away my title and give me a new title like them pls? At least I feel like one of them!!!! Its not that I dun like the other staff, but there are some people here who dun like my company cos they are pro their own company. And they dunno the facts so they think that the problems are started by my company....... So anytime I might just get stabbed in the back lor, now since I am so open and defenseless. I need to get a mirror so that I can see who's behind my back ready to stab me.......

That's it. I'm gonna spend my whole afternoon chewin on M&Ms.