Emo rant

Haven't been home in 2 weeks. And today I came home with Junior. I haven't been sleeping well cos of late nites and early work in the morn and lotsa activities in the day. Totally have no time to think about lotsa stuff.

Its 11pm on a rainy sunday nite as I sit here at the computer, trying to organise my tots and feelings. Been feeling sick. Had a flu, sore throat, ulcer in my mouth and a migraine.

I am a typical gal, fickle-minded. And being a monkey, its even worse cos I change minds like nobody's business. Tryin to plan my future, but it seems so far away. Maybe cos I am so tired and sick I'm feeling bit down. I face peer pressure too with the people around me....... and I know I cannot rush into things like I wanted.

Maybe its the rain that is messing up my emotions. Its really a thunderstorm out there. I do hope the people that I love are warm and snug at home. Thank God my bro doesn't have to work today or else he'll be drenched. My heart goes out to the mac donalds people who have work to work in the rain delivering food to people who are warm and snug at home......and any poor soul out there who doesn't have shelter....

i dunno why, but the rainy weather always makes my heart get into a fluster...... I miss the people I love, although the one I love the most is beside me, knocked out on the carpet cos the new bedsheets doesn't have my smell yet and he's not adjusted here yet, even after 5hours after coming back home......

And it feels good to be nice and warm at home in my own room, doing useless stuff like surfing the net...... I wish time could turn......

PS: I would brave the rain to reach you...... No amount of heavy downpour could stop me from getting to you...... if only you would ask, if only you would...... do you know tat? People deep in my heart..... Some, so near yet so far, Some, so far yet so near....... You were never far away, cos you were always near my heart.....

I heard this song when I was doing facial at haach (YES, I do facials ok..... wat's so surprising?) and I made the beauty consultant lend me the disc and I copied it..... This song meant lots to me cos I chose it, it has significant meaning to it...... but turned out, everything was jus the same that we heard so many sad stories about...... things didnt turn out different......

I wan this time to be different. I hate to plan, because I am soooooo afraid things doesn't turn out good and wonderful and forever..... then i'll hurt all over again..... But life is always a big gamble. And the stakes are - myself.....

Destiny - (By Jim Brickman & I.dunno.who)