Keeping Your Relationship Fresh and Strong

Keeping Your Relationship Fresh and Strong
Many relationships deteriorate with time, just as muscles atrophy over a long period of under-usage. The principle is the same - just as muscles are built and maintained by consistent exercise, relationships need to be massaged regularly to keep them fresh and strong. The tips I'm about to share with you will not be news to you (in fact, you'll probably remember frequently using them during the courtship or "honeymoon" phase), but it's surprising just how many couples fail to employ them to keep their relationships healthy.

First of all, maintain eye contact with each other. When you look deeply into someone else's eyes, you're communicating a powerful commitment, a presence of mind that says "I am here for you, I am listening to you, I am interested in you." Eye contact with each other is usually one of the first things to go and it's virtually imperceptible; most couples don't even realize that they can go for days even without actually looking into each other's eyes.

Next, always let your spouse know that he or she is important to you. You may like to verbalise it or you might express it in other ways, it's up to you, but make sure that you consistently send signals to your spouse that you appreciate having him or her in your life.

Don't take anything for granted. Appreciate every little thing your spouse does for you, whether it's picking the baby up from your in-laws every day, cooking your favourite dish, driving you to work, doing the laundry, or cuddling in bed. All the things they do for you, that they really don't have to, are little reminders of just how much you mean to them. Don't be deaf to these reminders.

Next, keep up the physical contact with each other; and I don't mean just sex. Small gestures like hugs, gentle hand squeezes, your arm around her waist during walks, or head massages send powerful, reinforcing messages to your spouse that help keep the passion alive. These are things we usually don't do with family members or friends, and they convey an exclusive intimacy.

And don't bring the stresses of your workplace home. Certainly your spouse should lend you a sympathetic ear when you really need to let out your frustrations, but consistently complaining to your spouse about your work sends a message that you're using him or her as a dumping ground for your work-related problems. That you don't respect the relationship enough to give it the tenderness it deserves. So leave your work at the office; at the end of the day, you should be enjoying some relaxing time with your spouse.