My point of view

I have thought things thru and summarised everything. I have heard news, rumours, truth and lies from different parties. This is the following I have summarised and watever that is written here, are my own views and not others' views and I am perfectly sober when I am typing this.

I believe this is my blog and I have my rights to express myself. If anyone of you not happy about this, although I know some of you will be uncomfortable and might be unhappy, I am sorry I dun mean to hurt anyone but I jus need to make myself heard.

13/10/07 - 7.45pm - he told me his army friends asked him out for drinks and he was not sure to go or not. I told him to go cos its good to have friends. He said he'll see how.

13/10/07 - 11.26pm - he said he was at Changi Village when I saw his car at Novena.

Lie No.1) At Changi Village when his car is at Novena.

13/10/07 - 11.40pm - I saw him and her singing inside the bar.

13/10/07 - 11.45pm - he told me they were really at Changi Village and they jus came here. I showed him the sms that told me that he was at Changi Village talking about their tekong days and how they missed Tekong and they might still wan to eat Nasi Lemak later......

He changed story to say actually they were there at Novena very early and only wanted to finish the bottle of liquor. He even asked me to go in and look at the bottle to prove that he didnt come since the last time he opened the bottle - only to prove that he went alone, cos he was high and if his army friends went with him, the bottle would be finished already.

Lie No.2) Army friends and him jus reached, but I only saw him.

Lie No.3) Actually they came very early to Novena - The bottle should have been finished cos his army friends would drink too.... but I dun see anyone.

He said I was sensitive that was why he lied. Why was I sensitive? There were so many colleagues and gals around him..... why am I only sensitive about her? And since he knew I was sensitive about her, shouldn't he avoid any misunderstandings by staying away? She also knew I was sensitive about her, but she didnt stay away as well. In fact she was the one who sent the sms to him inviting him down. And he went.

Lie No.4) He wanted to practice a song for me - in fact he was there to finish the bottle, and practicing song for me was not planned at all.... because he didnt go because he wanted to practice song, he went because of the sms she sent to ask him to finish his bottle....

15/10/07 - 9am - I requested to break up and updated my blog on wat happened. He asked if there was any space for negotiations, I said no, cos its gonna be lies again. He tried to explain via MSN, but it was not an explanation at all because I didnt understand the things he was trying to tell me. He said he trust my decision.

17/10/07 - 1.45pm - he sent an email to his friends, colleagues and everyone except me to explain himself. Only today did he explain why he lied in the 1st place. He had to take 3 days to think of an excuse to bring himself out of shit that he fell in. Before sending the email, he made no attempts to explain himself to me, making me think that he was more concerned about how his friends would think of him then my feelings.

He lied so many times, how would i be sure that the proposal was not a fake one? How can I be sure that it was not another lie to make him look better and it was not another lie to cover his own ass?

He would rather lie than to tell the truth. He would rather break the relationship than to break the surprise. I sincerely believe that there was nothing between him and her. I even apologised to her for causing her distress. And I am also sorry I had to bring this up now but it was not your fault. He let himself fall. He chose this path. He allowed himself to forget about my feelings when he replied that sms from you - by turning up in person. There was never an intention to practice the song because if he had me in his heart, he would have tot of going elsewhere and going with someone else (there is something called the analog key for KTVs). He argued that he didnt think that going to a KTV alone would be ideal..... so testing my sensitivity and my limits are ideal????

And that nite 13/10/07 when he finally left the place, it was 4am and he was so drunk that she had to help him back home...... wat does this tell you? It told me that he doesnt bother about my feelings. Even when I am angry and upset, he still went ahead with his enjoyment. He didnt think that maybe going home earlier would be a better idea and keeping his head clear the next morn to explain things would be a better idea......

Mentally I guess he already betrayed me. Now he's asking me wat i wan. Tell me, wat else can I wan?