The past few days passed so slowly. I haven't been sleeping well because there are some things weighing on my mind and my insomnia was due to unnecessary overloading of my bird brain. I wondered and pondered alot.
And it always happens and now I know how to cure it. I jus have to think and think and think and when my brain sorts out everything, I'll be fine. Wat happens if my bird brain doesn't sort things out? Then I gotta write and write and write in my diary and sleep on the issue and everything will be fine, cos most of the issues dun need me to sort out, they jus sort themselves out cos its not possible for them to happen.
Maybe I am jus not contented enough la. I have everything I have now, yet I am not contented la. Humans are really greedy, at least I am greedy..... haha I am a typical human. I feel I am getting no where. Where is the ultimate goal? No goal is good enough for me I think....
When things settle down, then I feel better la, like now lor....
Of cos I find ways to calm myself down la, like go SHOPPING or eating CHOCOLATES or spend time with the people I love and who love me.....
I jus hope that this time round, the people ard me better have more heart dealing with me... cos i am also jus a fragile human being, deprived of love, deprived of things I wanted and would appreciate love and care and concern from the people who love me.....
Ms Kerin posted me a question last mth. If I have my last 24hours on earth, who do I wan to spend it with.....
If everyone else have also 24hours left, I will spend it with Junior, cos I know junior will wan to spend it with me. Everyone else have their commitments and other people they love too, so they most probably will spend it with the people they wan to spend it with, and most probably, that person is not me..... so I jus dun disturb.... hahahaha.....
If only me have 24hours left, I will go to a place, most probably is the beach or some place on earth I haven't been before that I really badly wan to go, I will go there and wait for my death and let those who really love me and wan to see me the last time to come and see me if they wan to..... only then will I know who really love me.....
Quality vs Quantity....
Which one is important? Someone once told me quantity time is not good enough, not the same as quality time together.... I dunno how far this statement affects anyone of you out there..... but I believe that all the time I spent with anyone, is quality time because I put in my best effort and all my time and I try to make my best out of any time I spend with anyone.... so the more time I have with someone, the more quality time I spend with them.....
No quantity means no quality.... ya understand? How to have quality when you dun even make time for me????
2 comments:
hey gong gong gurl..this is the first time im leaving a comment i think...i dont usually do this soooo...LISTEN UP!!you are just going thru a kind of 20something crisis.every person after theyve hit 20 will re-evaluate their lives every 10 years after that.you are in yr late 20s so the time has come when your mind nitpicks on every aspect of yr life.you begin to doubt yrself,chastise yrself,lose confidence in yrself,etc,etc.usually the only way to get out of it is to surround yrself with those you love coz their love will pull you back to earth and you will realise that you have a place in life's scheme of things n that everything will work themselves out.you might feel that you have achieved nothing and are nowhere in life but in actual fact,you have achieved so much more than anyone else i know and you are blessed with so many people around you who love you to bits.you feel hollow because you lack the love from a singular person.dont let that yearning bring whatever you have achieved in yr life down.life is full of choices.the only choice it seems is to look yr "yearning" in the face.only then would you properly move on with your life,only then would you feel complete,only then would you be truly happy.
Hey mummy. Nice to see you here. I'm fine and ya, i'm in my 20something crisis. Thanks for being there for me whenever I needed someone. Thanks for pulling me back to earth. I'm not like you to "confront" the problem, I am taurus and I am shy. Hahahahhaa.... LOVE YOU....
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